Purple Haze

After lunch, which consisted of a huge plate of delicious dumplings (with extra chillies to maximise my metabolic capabilities), I wandered into a gorgeous little boutique. Purple dress with frilly edging, beautiful. So I tried it on. Honestly, it looked better on the hanger. However, with a pair of hot and high, torso-slimming, height-enhancing shoes, I looked quite appealing.

Rather then rush out and purchase the dress, I hesitate. I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering how I could have expanded so drastically over the years. In other words, I just stand around in the purple dress with frilly edging, wasting time.

The openly gay sales-assistent, who was obviously not accustomed to ladies standing around analysing their tummies in the mirror, thought I was undecided and still considering whether to buy the purple dress with frilly edging.

So, as expected, openly gay sales-assistant lies through his teeth about how gorgeous I look. Unexpectedly, he follows this by offering me 20% off!! I jumped out and bought the dress at a cardio speed.

This is the first time, tummy-analysis has actually paid off. I thought it was an occasion worth documenting.