At risk of overdose

They say that an addiction is a sign of a weak character. If so, I’m weak, so very weak. I even get weak in the knees for the sweet smell and taste of chocolate. So much so, that I’m currently at a risk of overdosing.

In my defence it is Easter, so I’m morally and religiously obligated to down as many of those indulgent little solid chocolate eggs as I can sustain. Plus Easter only comes once a year! At least I should get some credit for my creativity in constructing justifications for my chocolate addiction.

Plus, the bulk of my chocolate consumption this Easter has been Cadbury Easter eggs (which are certified Fair-Trade chocolate – I'm selflessly helping the world, even to the detriment of my waistline).

Purple Haze

After lunch, which consisted of a huge plate of delicious dumplings (with extra chillies to maximise my metabolic capabilities), I wandered into a gorgeous little boutique. Purple dress with frilly edging, beautiful. So I tried it on. Honestly, it looked better on the hanger. However, with a pair of hot and high, torso-slimming, height-enhancing shoes, I looked quite appealing.

Rather then rush out and purchase the dress, I hesitate. I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering how I could have expanded so drastically over the years. In other words, I just stand around in the purple dress with frilly edging, wasting time.

The openly gay sales-assistent, who was obviously not accustomed to ladies standing around analysing their tummies in the mirror, thought I was undecided and still considering whether to buy the purple dress with frilly edging.

So, as expected, openly gay sales-assistant lies through his teeth about how gorgeous I look. Unexpectedly, he follows this by offering me 20% off!! I jumped out and bought the dress at a cardio speed.

This is the first time, tummy-analysis has actually paid off. I thought it was an occasion worth documenting.